Cagnes Y Lacey ride again

Crisis, what crisis? A hole in the diary (no, not a**hole in the diary) was valiantly filled by our very own Canadian Mountie Farty Bum. To the rescue again, hurrah! Once Farty Bum had taken the initiative, hashers were queuing up to help her and it fell to Lonely, fresh from trying to comprehend the prehistoric coding of the hash web site, to help her.
The hash began in true Farty Bum style. Rather than following etiquette and using flour, she decided to mark the trail with pretty non bio-degradable red ribbons. Even more, she promised that the run would be very long, or maybe very short, depending on how Lonely had decided to set his part.
Pilchard, as can be seen, was clearly extatic at the prospect of not knowing whether to be running far, with short sprints to prove his racist credentials whenever an onlooker was watching, or to be running not so far, thereby giving him more energy for the sprints. So he sat down to gain energy.
Now, Pilchard, as we all know, got his name because he spent his career in tanks. Is this why he now has bionic knees, after all that crouching behind reinforced steel & titanium waiting for the bad guys to get him?
Farty Bum, meanwhile, was a real hero. Everyone else had lain low when Mme Mouton struggled to fill the hare for the day. Now that the coast was clear, many hashers turned out to enjoy her trail.
Being Cagnes and Lacey territory, she promised plently of off road and shiggy. And what did we get? Err, none, as it was all on road.
What to say about the run? Well, it started westwards towards Villeneuve Loubet before jiggling back down to the RN7 but never veering anywhere near the sea front. This was apparently because Padre was intent on showing his torso there & it would have put the body builders to shame. Or something like that.
However, it has to be said that Lonely clearly set the run either after a pastis too many or with his mind on other issues, such as web code (don’t worry folks, the hash web site is only 3 months out of date……..give it another 9 and it will look like it might actually be up to date). Anyway, Lonely is the kindest, gentlest soul (though he does argue that he has a mean streak that needs to be provoked to be seen). This meant that whilst checks were not always obvious, he compensated by regularly helping the pack on their way without even being prompted. So kind…..
Nevertheless, the markings were difficult to follow. Flour & ribbon do not mix well, with the result that several hashers detatched from the pack when we reached an “optional” FRB check. PHD & Cumalot, to name two, decided that actually there were further markings to follow to the beer car as they were getting thirsty. See below…..
Is this the first time that roadsigns have been part of the (un)official hash trail? Farty Bum & Lonely, you are so devious………
Beer stop reached, it was time to catch up for chit chat with the walkers. Jessie the dog was in her element (well, some claimed she was in her element at the Chinese restauarant for the on on, with suggestions that some of the meat was made from her brothers and sisters). In this case, element meant lots of crisps & attention after a pleasant trot around Cagnes.
The second half included a splendid climb up to old Cagnes. This gave the added bonus of an explanation of local culture from No Satisfaction. Apparently, the locals have a tournament based around rolling odd shaped boules down a cobbled street. That is a very weird pastime, definitely not like spending ¼ of your weekends running or walking just to build up an appetite for beer & food.
Old town over, it was time to revert to the start point in the big car park. The walkers had successfully navigated the trail despite, sorry, thanks to Farty Bum’s directions, whilst the dwindled gang of runners did the same, abetted once again by the over helpful hare Lonely.
Do you really expect me to remember the down downs? No notes this time, so my addled memory remembers only this:
Thanks to hares Farty Bum & Lonely for stepping in at the last minute for setting a great town trail that was well attended.
Birthdays – I don’t recall whose, but definitely not PHDs. Oh no, no, no……
Voyeurism – Jobsworth for saying hi to Supermarket Trolley as she was changing.
And many more.
As for Sh*t of the Week, I actually remember most of it this time, rather unusually. Lonely was of course nominated for being just too nice a hare. I think that Farty Bum was nominated for being Farty Bum. But I could be wrong. However, the winner was definitely Padre.
Whilst PHD did not want to make a fuss about her birthday, it is reasonable to expect that he would do so. But no, he mentioned nothing and was therefore clearly guilty of forgetting it.
On on was in a local Asian “all you can eat” restaurant. Interesting to note that Hong Kong Phooey declined to join, probably as he was worried that if he did so, the local food back in Hong Kong would never live up to it. Equally, Jessie the dog was not warmly welcome despite another dog already being in the restaurant. I don’t want to create fake news here, but rumour has it that they only needed one more dog for the kitchen as we were late to the restaurant, so Jessie was not welcome as the other was already there & being prepared. Fake news, as The Donald would say.

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