R*n Report 892 –

Parklife!

On a slightly chilly Sunday morning a hardcore of RHHH hashers assembled, well, those who could tell the time and follow directions, more later…

This was new territory for most of us, a park just above Californie where the new trams were gliding silently like a vision of the future but today.

As it was the Christmas R*n Padre was the only one suitably attired, luckily he had a selection of hats for the r*nners. Sadist brought his own and defiantly ignored the advice NOT to cum dressed as a “gilet jaune”, ever the class rebel!

After the chalk talk was complete …

…the run started conventionally with everyone following Cumalot up a dead end as he had wilfully ignored the Hare’s instructions. After finding the correct trail we left the park and headed into the posh suburbs around Fabron.

Padre spotted a rare Norwegian Blue parrot, unfortunately it was dead..

The next challenge was the trail crossed the University of Nice campus, which was closed on Sunday. After scaling a locked gate (are you sure? – ed) Buns the Killer Hare thought would be amusing to see if Padre could work out how to open it….

Once this small obstacle had been overcum… the trail continued and we came across Jobsworth, Wet Patch and the birthday boy Ball Baring. The latter only because we were lost and were accidentally heading back to the start.

JW and WP were on trail though about to head for the CBM that most of the runners, three of them, has run through. Back together and Jobsworth hardly ever mentioning Brexit, we ascended to near the L’Archet hospital.

The trail became a little vague in places here and some of the markings confused the half-minds…

Eventually the runners arrived at the beerstop just in time for the walkers to be leaving having given up on seeing us again! Refreshed and recharged, we posed for a photo…

On the second half, it was getting colder and wetter but some fools were convinced they could shortcut the trail and knew where the trail would come out. This blurry photo give a clue to the identity of the culprit…

Back to the start, Iron Lady had found a huge erection and there was much rejoicing. And it was large enough to shelter the whole Hash. Her generosity did not end there.. she had brought free Hash T-Shirts for the poor waifs and strays who didn’t have one such as…

After many down downs, including Ball Baring’s Birthday, Jobsworth confessed to having run out of ideas, whence he was instantly nominated as “Shit of the Week” by Sadist. Jobsworth’s counter accusation of the Hare, Iron Lady was as popular as Teresa May’s Brexit deal.

This was the result…

There were other DownDows too…

Hare – IL
Latecummers – Ball Bearing, Wet Patch, Jobsworth
Birthdays – Ball Bearing, Baby Jesus (represented by Joseph and Mary) and Buns the Killer Hare
Returners – Jobsworth
Prince Albert award – IL
Scrooges not in Xmas gear
Duchess for complaining about waiting at the beer stop
Wet Patch – biting Jobsworth’s ankle
Padre & Levrette – cottaging with Padre’s little willy
Iron Lady – arranging marquee
Padre – pregnant Widow Twanky
Sadist for disappearing in the circle
Padre – (non) reserve RA

So to the restaurant…

An excellent Brasserie was chosen by Iron Lady, only two small problems, we were early and they didn’t have a table for 15…

This was quickly sorted out but more was to cum… Buns and Tightwad managed to lock themselves our their car which was taking on Christine levels of malevolence, locking the doors with the engine running while keeping their house keys, wallets and phones hostage.

Birthday boy Ball Baring leapt into action (as the rest of the Hash tucked into their Tempura Prawns and hearty Daube), calling the police, a locksmith, International Rescue and the Tufty Club.

Crisis averted and Ball Baring hailed  as angel of the month, we settled down to a excellent meal and wine and company.

Merry Christmas to all and OnOn! to the next one!