R*n Report 891

Post Party Christmas Run in the Sun

After the excesses at Les Terraces the night before, the Hash was not in the mood for more excessive exercise which was fortunate as there was a champagne breakfast to ease us into the day’s exertions.

Also, luckily for all present, Prestressed and Skinny Ah-So had a bottomless supply of champagne. Allegedly, Prestressed had found a credit card with PIN number down the back of the sofa and went to town in Lidl.

We are not sure who’s card it was but Sneaky Bastard just checked his online bank statement …

After a few drinks…

We set off, the chalk talk was suitably brief with one Hare just telling us to ‘get a bloody move on’. This Hare was Perpetual Motion in case anyone has forgotten. 

There were two hares which sometimes causes confusion but in this case we all knew what we were supposed to do….

The trail led up then up some more and then up a little bit, until it was totally up itself. At the top, a falsie gave a grinning Supermarket Trolley the chance to show us a very nice cross she had found. It was perfectly formed and had been lovingly placed there by the Hare and she was very keen that we all see it!

At this point the pack split, with some finding trail leading away from the check and others found another check in the opposite direction. The first set of splitters were technically short cutters but this was the real trail (really? – Ed).

Fortunately, there was a regroup check only a few km later and we were all able argue who were the short cutters and who were just stupid.

After a short break for photos, we moved on for a second half which was sometimes hard to follow…

After negotiating a fiendish Gispert loop we passed a picturesque view of Callian where Cumalot and Heavy Pants had allegedly spent time avoiding the pre-party Hash the day before.

Scandalous!

After a pleasant jog through Montaroux village we headed back to the start and prepared for the circle…. and as Perpetual Motion often states, preparation is everything.

The circle was eventful since JoyceNN had mentioned about the ‘nice old man’ she had met on the Bordighera Hash in the summer but couldn’t remember what he looked like. Since we have so many ‘nice old men’ on RHHH, we had to have a line up to determine who it was.

After eliminating several candidates based on oldness, niceness, manness and eventually hairiness, it was decided that Perpetual Motion was the nice old man though it was doubted that he was even in Bordighera that day but it could have been a case of mistaken identity…

And to add to the jollity, there were two namings.

Visitors JoyceNN became Wash’n Blow and DavidNN became 2 Clean 2 Hash. Our main arbiter of taste, Padre, was against both namings so they were voted in unaminously (no they weren’t – ed)

Other DownDows were….

Partying but not Hashing:-

• Heavy Pants
• Sneaky Bastard
• Rubber Maid
• The Bag
• 2 Clean 2 Hash
• Wash’n Blow
• Sinex
• Incredible Hulk
• Haggisimo (?)
• PHD

Standing on a Check

• Pilchard
• Supermarket Trolley

Shortcutting Barstards

• Tight Wad
• Cumalot

Mugless

• No Grappa
• Cumalot
• Sneaky Bastard
• Sinex
• Long and Hard
• Supermarket Trolley
• Duchess of Cambridge

Virgin Abuse – Lonely

New Shoes – Drag Anchor

Leaving Circle Early – Perpetual Motion

Singers (must have been an awful song!)

• Julie NN
• Lonely
• Farty Bum

Shit of the Week nominations

• Cumalot – missing first r*n
• Heavy Pants – also missing first r*n (strange co-incidence)
• Pilchard – ‘renting ‘ Decathlon wet weather gear

And to end, some new ones, old ones and returning ones.