Two for the price of one.
This is the short version which details what the L.W.B. get up to………

The walkers gathered together in one of the forest parking areas with at least one notable exception. Where was Farty Bum? Who else failed to find the start point? Will we ever know? The confusion  maybe is “when is a roundabout not a roundabout?”

Anyway, the walking group was boosted by the return of HHH  founder member Slasher and newcomer (returner Ed.) Philippe. Philippe impressed fellow hashers with his ability to speak numerous languages almost to perfection. He joins other notable walkers in this regard including long distance walker Duchess of Cambridge.
The walker set off by following Hare Procul and wandered through the forest on a perfect day. The beautiful sun was balance by the forest canopy making excellent walking conditions..  After walking some 5 km all arrived at the beer stop. This was a surprise to some as Farty Bum was AWOL.  It turned out that fellow walker Sadist saved the day and refreshment was had by all. Even the timing was perfect as the runners arrived as soon as the first bag of crisps and beer bottle was opened. Excellent planning by the hares.
The second phase of the walk was only about 2km part of which was through jungle like undergrowth but got everyone to the Circle in good shape.
The circle was conducted by Pardre  given the absence of most of the other Hash officials. Not Stupid was surprised to receive her 50 runs mug after earlier complaining about being “ mugless”  After all the normal insults , aspersions and down downs all left for an excellent early dinner at the Musculin?? Restaurant in Vallauris.
A good time was had by all.

And here is the longer version as experienced by the faster members, the F.R.B’s. although they will both take the same amount of time to complete.
Yet another afternoon start as we assembled in the Parc de la Valmasque.  I say “we” but that did not include Farty Bum, of course, who could not find the venue.  The simple directions included phrases such as “turn left” and “roundabout”.  Does a “roundabout” mean something else in Canada?  I struggle to find an alternative reason for her frequent no-shows. (Do not be too hard on her as Roundabouts are a Canadian novelty;   See here for confirmation…………. Ed.)
We had a good turn out which included the welcome return of Slasher and Sneaky B.  Perhaps the absence of most of the oligarchic, brutal mis-management was a factor here.  We had two virgins Lushana (bet I I have spelled that incorrectly) (Nope, that is correct. Ed.) and her daughter Stephanie protected by Cookie.  Padre, taking on the role of RA, set us off with the pledge of looking after Stephanie- at least for the first 10 minutes.  Knowing Padre, I was not convinced  of this sudden duty of care for the vulnerable would materialise. I was wrong actually.  Very early in the hash a very “fleet o’ foot” Stephanie (and Cookie) darted down a false trail and Padre did actually set off in pursuit and brought her back to the fold.  Is Padre going soft?  A worrying prospect if he is.
Plenty of false trails and the youthful Wet Patch did a lot of ’em.  A splendid Christian gesture on a Sunday.  At the other end of the age spectrum Perpetch did a few too but Wet Patch was Queen of the Falsies and I mean trails not boobs.  It was clear there had been significant tree felling and looking at the extent of it, the lumberjacks must have been on steroids.  Protection of the environment I suppose.
The trail did not seem particularly demanding but there were plenty of moderate climbs and after an hour or so a beer stop was becoming urgent.  It was also not very likely either as no way would a vehicle be able to access our quadrant of the Valmasque.  Finally, we did approach concrete and morale rose with a prospect of sighting the beer car.   We did.  The beer stop was of a decent duration.  It just made the  restart for the second half that much more difficult.  Painfully and reluctantly we set off again but it was fairly short and we finished a little tired but in good nick.  Many congratulations to Procul for setting a demanding but fair trail.
Down Downs
Hares:  Procul and No Grappa
New mug for 50 runs; Not Stupid
Mugless:  No Grappa, Slasher, No Satisfaction, Long and Hard, Little Pinkie
Lost Property:  iron Lady
Returners:  Pilchard, Slasher, Sneaky bastard, Gorgeous Edna, Not Stupid, No Grappa, Wet Patch, Philippe
Scribes:  Perpetual Motion and Gorgeous Edna
German Speakers:  Philippe,  French Shower, No Satisfaction, Pilchard, Perpetual Motion
Virgins:  Lushana and Stéphanie (and Cookie)
I suppose it could be worse and be called the same as this dog……..

Dick dog


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