Halloween. Images of spooky old ruins on a hill amid a storm. Scary apparitions and stories of death and destruction. Welcome to Contessa and Pedo’s Halloween hash.
Contessa had promised ghostly goings on with a beer stop at the house of Colin, apparently the local mayor but unfortunately ill on our day of visit. His apparition was still awaiting us all the same.
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Rain, rain go away. A remarkably strong crowd of runners and walkers assembled just as the heavens opened on the seafront in Bussana to witness a rare phenomenon. Yes, Pedo was back and, not only this, he was co-hare with Contessa (who mentioned that this is her 5th haring of the year – bravo!). Pedo has been around since the Ark, as can be seen from these musings before his name was simplified:

Phaedo (Circa 360 B.C.) says: “Certain tiny animals do not leave any pain when they sting us; so subtle is their power, so deceptive for purposes of harm. The bite is disclosed by a swelling, and even in the swelling there is no visible wound.” That will also be your experience when dealing with wise people, you will not discover how or when the benefit comes to you, but you will discover that you have received it. “

All fungi are edible.
Some only once.
Anyway, back to the hash. We also had a ghostly runners trail. There was no flour for the first 3 kilometres. Instead, we were led by an apparition looking remarkably like Padre who seemed to know what he was doing. I have the proof here….


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The unmarked 3km was a pleasant warm up before the climb to come. Wet Patch has been claiming that she is the fastest runner in the pack but she was nowhere to be seen, left behind by such athletic stalwarts as Jobsworth and Cumalot.
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Unsurprisingly, the easy start soon came to an end when we found ourselves back at the start point and were allowed to follow flour that went up, up and up towards the ever more menacing heavens. The uphill was vicious and only punctuated by moments to slow down by scrambling under trees or taking totally the wrong trail (Cumalot). A 200m climb later, we found another apparition
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Yes, we had reached the promised ghostly beer stop and the resident ghost had a distinctly familiar feel.
The beer stop was well received as it was indoors in Colin’s beautiful home and hosted by his son Mungo “In the summertime, when the weather is hot”. Mungo gave wonderful stories about the history of Bussana and its earthquakes and not very legal land reforms to us before we set off for the second half.
The second half started with a walk around the destroyed church next to Colin and Mungo’s house. 57 believers died when an earthquake brought the roof down on them in the 1800s. The ruins stand as a monument to disaster and once again befitted a Halloween hash.

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After this, it was all hands on deck to bring the drinks back to the beer car. Except that Wet Patch had been far too keen and also brought the beer we offered to Mungo for letting us use his home as beer stop. Cumalot bravely took the beer back and it was then downhill all the way.


However, the spooky goings on clearly had left their mark. Or was it a Lourdes like transformation? Not just Farty Bum but also Dire Rear decided to join the runners for the run downhill. Dire Rear soon realised the folly of her ways but Farty Bum has now been inducted into the runner’s hall of fame.
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Back at the start it was time for down downs, presented by the “back from whipping the colonials into shape” Jobsworth:
Hares – Contessa and Pedo
Returners – Jobsworth and Wuff Diva
Padre for short cutting and outing others who did the same
Late Cummers – Poke MaHole, Long and Hard, Semen Monster and Fairy Plongeur (and the rest of you)
Cumalot for not posting the Albenga run report despite Padre and Jobsworth having slaved over it
Contessa for delaying the second half by dumping
Wet Patch for stealing Mungo’s beer
Farty Bum for running
Cumalot for announcing his cumming out by running in tight lycra “On In” pants and with an umbrella
Evelyn for social technology in the circle
And the Sh*t of the Week winner was Farty Bum (of course) for many offences but mainly for the lack of circle organisation in her previous hash.


And so it was on on to another fine Italian restaurant where the food was copious and the company exquisite. Long and Hard was in heaven as the waitresses were Romanian and Wet Patch received a cake from the staff for losing her Italian virginity. First time ever in the country, as you ask. (But first time ever doing what I do not know. You must ask her).


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Postscript. Fresh from her becoming a runner. Farty Bum was very anxious to accompany Cumalot to his car. The rumour, unconfirmed but from a reliable Plymouth derived source, is that she wanted him to take her home and enticed him with beer to do to so. This begs the question of what happened next. “Your place or mine?”. “Just one coffee/beer?”. “How do you like your eggs?”. A lady of much mystique…..
(I remember it more as a threesome – ed)

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